Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I just cut my nipple shaving
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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