Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
