please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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