Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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