I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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