just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Randomize
