Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
