True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
