Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
