btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
