she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
