apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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