So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Randomize
