It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
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