Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
