Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
You can't motorboat a personality
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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