i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
she peed on how many people?
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
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