did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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