Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
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...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
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Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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