Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
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some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
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We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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