you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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