Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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