oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
