Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
