Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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