DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize