Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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