so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
