Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
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