Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
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