My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
