Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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