Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
