I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
