i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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