We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
