What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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