Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
