Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
