She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
