this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Randomize
