I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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