I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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