I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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