ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize