I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
