I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
there is puke in my bra ... again
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
