I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
