There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
