found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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