Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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