I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
