boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
