Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
