ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
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