Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
she pinky promised me she was 18
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
