we're blogging at a bar
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize