how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
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