So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i drank out of a bidet.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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