dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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