what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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