I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I will die if light touches me.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
